janinawoods:

green-violin-bow:

Presumably someone’s already written a MasterChef Professionals AU?

Mycroft Holmes, reclusive development chef with a reputation for harsh words to those who don’t carry out his instructions well enough to bring his culinary vision to life. He’s been out of normal service for a few years so it’ll be a challenge to cook in front of Marcus, Monica and the food critics; but the real danger is his perfectionism, the way he beats himself up when he can’t deliver. He’s very controlled, and likes the challenges where he can prepare and practice obsessively.

Greg Lestrade, who’s worked himself up within the industry from potwasher to sous chef of a five-star restaurant in Mayfair. His life outside cookery has fallen apart: his wife’s left him, sick of the hours and his obsession with the job. He’s easygoing, friendly, but a little experimental in his cooking – his favourite challenges are the invention tests, because he can just wing it…and to be fair, it usually pays off.

Mycroft and Greg get at cross purposes on the first day, when Greg tries to chat while they wait behind the scenes, and Mycroft frankly says he has no interest in talking. (Unbeknownst to Greg, Mycroft is feeling so sick with nerves he can hardly stay calm.)

Has anyone written one???? I need to read

Please 😭

I’m in love.

timeviolence:

queerical:

prokopetz:

Concept: one of those cliché angel/demon romances, except the demon is the stuffy, orthodox one and the angel is like “hold my beer”.

#demon: youre SUPPOSED to be a background influence!! no one is supposed to see you!!! youre not supposed to leave any sign of ur presence!#angel *sneezes and twenty feathers drift to the ground*: lmao im gonna cure this chicks blindness and make that guy rethink his life choices (via @andsotheuniverseended)

demon: *sits there drawing up a long contract for a lawyer’s human soul, working out the loopholes because lawyers are sneaky*
angel: i think that dude is on lsd lmao i’m gonna go talk to him in my true form
demon: don’t you have burning wings and a thousand eyes or something
angel: haha ye
deom: *long sigh*

Demon!Mycroft & Angel!Greg

Can we please consider Mycroft and Greg having sex while trying to keep a completely normal conversation going as a game. And each of them trying to make the other “happier” and who ever can remain coherent the longest “wins”.

green-violin-bow:

imagine a dating app which notifies you if someone’s swiped right on your profile, even if you haven’t already swiped on them

imagine sherlock stealing mycroft’s phone and installing the app on it, uploading a profile for him. he gets the phone out of mycroft’s coat and back in without him noticing. (rosie is a great help in that regard. it’s so much easier to pickpocket mycroft these days.)

imagine greg, on a friday night, being wound up by his colleagues in the pub about his permanently single status; them pushing him to install the app. his new constable’s just got engaged to a lass he met through it. it sounds like a stupid idea to greg

how can you know if you want to go out with them when all you’re looking at is a picture?

but he’s a good enough sport to let them push him into installing it. he can just delete it later anyway

imagine a case that takes sherlock and john out of london, and mycroft’s worried for his brother, so greg finds himself haring off after them. he has no idea mycroft’s there too

even if it’s ridiculous (and the local police aren’t best pleased to have a met detective rocking up on their patch), the hotel greg’s been booked into is gorgeous. he hasn’t slept this well in months. he has a run every morning and starts taking long, relaxing baths.

he finishes a book, for the first time in months.

one night he’s sitting in the bar

john and sherlock have buggered off somewhere (probably to do something horribly dangerous) and greg’s savouring the last of his glass of whisky before bed

it’s idle curiosity. he opens the app. he plays with the settings. he wonders what his colleagues would say if they knew he’d checked the third box (‘anyone’,
instead of ‘women’, or ‘men’) after ‘looking for’.

the photos cycle, endlessly, and you just swipe

left or right, no or yes. it’s hypnotic after a while, and the strangeness of it (the basic nastiness of a yes or a no based on looks alone) fades away

left, left, right, left, hesitate

left, right, right, left, left, left, right

fuck.

oh, fuck.

that last one was…that was mycroft.

fuck.

cold realisation runs down greg’s spine.

it’s nothing, though, to the bone-deep shock of adrenaline when he looks up

eyes wide, hand tugging at his hair

and sees mycroft holmes, legs crossed in an armchair next to the crackling log fire

and he’s looking

at his phone

Someone please write this in full. Amazing ❤

What if,

hear me out, what if Greg Lesteade isn’t really Greg Lestrade? What if he’s been deep undercover for a long time? What if he and Mycroft were together but Greg had to go undercover so that’s why they’re never in the same room? What if that’s why Sherlock never calls him the right name? Because he never bothered to learn the alias? What if that’s why he stays with a wife that cheats on him? Because he doesn’t care since he’s not in love, and/or she’s the mark? What if?!

rupertograves:

okay but mystrade au where Greg is a former soldier with ptsd and anger issues, to help him resocialize a friend finds him this job on a floriculture where the owner is this very mysterious quiet guy named Mycroft

everything’s fine, Greg does his work, they talk but not much, it’s only becoming a friendship until the day they get this big order and the client is such a whinny piece of sh** that Greg snaps while doing an arrangement alone and breaks things then freaks out because omg of course i’m getting fired

but Mycroft just enters the mess the place is, picks up some not very destroyed flowers and with his hands guides Greg’s in doing the damn lace and ruffles and holy shit now he whishes he was getting fired ‘cause falling in love is just so much worse

SOMEONE WRITE THIS PLEASE

Can we have some of your mycroft headcanons please? <3

mottlemoth:

Of course you can. ❤ 

(These are also Mystrade.)

  • Cats. Of course.
  • The thing with John in the warehouse was a test. If John had taken the money, Mycroft would have had him removed from Sherlock’s life immediately. He doesn’t want Sherlock in the hands of someone who’d spy on him for money, and he makes sure he gets his offer in first. He’s removed a number of people this way.
  • Mycroft was a Very Popular Young Man at Cambridge. He ended up with some deliciously filthy nickname, and couldn’t quite look his mother in the eye when he went home for Christmas.
  • He has the same breakfast everyday – wholegrain toast, a weighed amount of organic granola with yoghurt, and half a grapefruit.
  • He avoids desserts, chocolate and other sweet things, knowing it’s a slippery slope indeed. When he does indulge, he buys a very small number of extremely expensive liquor chocolates. He can only eat them when all the staff and Anthea have gone home, usually in his film room in the dark, watching something very sentimental. (With his cats.)
  • His hair naturally curls; he works hard to minimise the effect. Photos of him as a young man at Cambridge, when his hair was thickest, show almost floofy curls with a much redder shine.
  • When he retires, he plans to get into translating ancient poetry and deciphering old languages. He’s wanted to all his life, but he’s never permitted himself the time. (He first had this longing when he was eight, visiting The British Museum for the first time and seeing the Rosetta stone. He’s suppressed the interest for four decades now.)
  • He presents like a Capricorn, but the man’s clearly a Virgo.
  • As a younger man he was heavily involved in MI6, including covert work overseas. He had a few dangerous incidents over the years, but (his usual joke) ‘nothing worth adapting into a film’.
  • At a very low point, he paid for sex. Probably only once, and the experience was so unsettling and guilt-inducing that he blocked it from his mind. (This incident prompted a very long period of celibacy.)
  • Mycroft doesn’t do well in heat. The office is kept air-conditioned to the same chilly temperature year round, as is the car, and he tries to avoid situations where he’ll get overly warm.
  • He calls Sherlock because it’s the only way to get Sherlock to bloody respond to him. He’s actually completely comfortable with texting, especially with more personal or private communication. 
  • When he and Greg start texting more casually, Greg is surprised that Mycroft often sends picture messages – things that amuse him, things he thinks Greg would appreciate, sometimes just shots of whatever he’s experiencing at the time. A half-finished coffee by a rainy window; crumpled bed-sheets in the half-light; one of his cats, upside down on the couch beside him asleep.
  • Mycroft is a very visual person. He knows it’s perhaps a little shallow, but he likes attractive partners. He’s usually so removed from ordinary people that the only way they can catch his eye is by physical attractiveness. As he reached his late thirties, he stopped noticing them so much – attractive people started just looking wearily young to him. (Then along came Greg.)
  • He’s a little uneasy with germs and hygiene. Essentially, he knows he can’t trust ordinary Londoners to perform even the basics of proper hand-washing. He tries not to think about it, but avoids public transport and public bathrooms like the plague.
  • He prefers silence to music. Sherlock learned to play the violin as a child, and Mycroft the piano – but his teacher was a vicious old woman who resented the family’s wealth. Mycroft developed something of a discomfort around music, especially the piano. (He becomes more comfortable with modern music due to Greg – who habitually puts a playlist on when they make love.)
  • His favourite colour is dark red, but he doesn’t wear it often because it brings out the warmth in his hair.
  • He’s got a custom-designed unbelievably posh built-in wardrobe covering a full wall, with tie-racks – concealed drawers for cufflinks – the works. 
  • He’s very self-conscious of his freckles and keeps them covered at all times. (He was teased at school. His mother tried to reassure him that ‘everyone has a few blemishes’, which didn’t help.)
  • He’s quite strongly arachnophobic. Every summer, ahead of spider season in autumn, Anthea books a pest control team to ensure the house is properly treated. Greg discovers the phobia one night when a massive one suddenly rushes across the bed, and Mycroft nearly hits the ceiling. Greg deals with it. Mycroft tries not to find this heroically affecting.
  • His favourite restaurants in London are all French.
  • He suffers from migraines, especially if he drinks too much tea.
  • His parents were worried about the effect that fiction has on impressionable young minds, so he knows very few classic stories.
  • Greg introduces him to Game of Thrones, and he ends up secretly addicted. An online quiz on Greg’s phone reveals him as a Lannister through and through. 
  • He ends up going to a country pub for lunch with Greg every Sunday.
  • He helps Greg quit smoking. (’Incentives’ are offered. Greg doesn’t even try to lie when he’s lapsed – he knows it won’t work.)
  • He starts swearing more in private when he’s involved with Greg, particularly ‘fuck’. This is how Sherlock figures out they’re together.